Question 1 Paper 1 June 2021 Answer
Question 1
Usain Bolt Brings Home First 100m Olympic Gold
Usain Bolt dominated the field today during the 100m race. When the starting gun went off, most would not have predicted Bolt was going to pull through. In fact, Richard Thompson of Trinidad and Tobago was a rocket off of the blocks, leaving the crowd in the dust. Bolt’s unfortunate misstep did not help his odds either.
However, Bolt managed to stay on Thompson's shoulder. With a sort of calm, Bolt lengthened his stride and slowly overtook Thompson. Bolt lengthened his lead, leaving the rest of the runners in the pack.
As Bolt quickly looked over his shoulder at the 80-meter mark, the realization began to set in that Bolt had this race won. Ten meters from the finish line, Bolt’s excitement was clearly evident; he beat on his chest and pumped his fists in the air with triumph. Upon crossing the finish line, the world could tell that Usain Bolt was the new sprinting force to be reckoned with.
There are several similarities and differences between the autobiographical text (Text A) and the newspaper report (Text B). Both Text A and B show the event in chronological order. For example, in Text A, Bolt gives a personal account of the events that happened, but showed it in the order in which they happened shown by when he said “[t]he gun went” and then “I burst from the blocks.” In Text B, this is seen when “Bolt lengthened his stride” and proceeded to overtake the leader.
In Text A, the paragraphs tended to alternate between Bolt’s thoughts and regular paragraphs, which detailed the actions happening in the race. This gave a more personal view of the events going on as well as what was actually happening throughout the race. In Text B, the report relies on standard paragraphs that tell the events of the race from an outsider’s point of view.
Text B is written in third person and past tense, as seen in phrases like “Bolt lengthened his lead” and “Bolt quickly looked over his shoulder.” This is reflective of a report because it is discussing events that the reporter witnessed in the past. It gives an effective overview of the race. Text A uses the first person and fluctuates between present and past tense. Since it is written in the first person, Bolt’s story is very personal and is relatable for the reader.
Both texts appeal to their intended audience. Text A is written so that Bolt’s mindset and thoughts were present, like how he kept telling himself to “[k]eep chilling.” This would be appealing to his fans and runners, as they might want to know what Bolt does in order to be successful during races. Text B appeals to their intended audience because it gives a ‘play-by-play’ of the race. The people reading this article most likely missed the race and want a recap of what happened.
However, these two texts take on different tones. Text A is quite informal, as Bolt uses phrases like “talk a lot of trash,” “[c]an I chill,” and “I didn’t freak.” This informal text is quite relatable to the audience (his fans) and this creates a conversational tone. Text B is more formal, as it uses phrases like “clearly evident” and “unfortunate misstep.” This reflects the typical standards of journalistic reporting.
Text A begins with the word “[b]ang,” which is an onomatopoeia. This jolts the reader into the beginning of the autobiography by catching their attention with a ‘sound word’ that can cause excitement. The reader does not know what is going to come next. Text B begins with the bolded headline “Usain Bolt Brings Home First 100m Olympic Gold.” This headline summarizes what the report is going to be about, but is still exciting enough to get the audience’s attention.
Text A consists of mainly emotive language and expresses Bolt’s thoughts and feelings. This can be seen through Bolt’s use of language such as “[w]here the hell is Asafa,” “[t]his is kinda weird,” and “I went totally wild.” It allows the reader to get inside his head and produces an enthralling narrative. Text B uses mainly facts throughout the piece, like “the 80-meter mark” and “[t]en meters from the finish line.” This provides an objective overview of the event and provides an unbiased summary.
Differing linguistic devices are used; Text A uses repetition. Throughout the race, Bolt is repeatedly telling himself to “[c]hill, chill, chill.” This creates a feeling of trust between Bolt and the reader. They are trusting in him to win the race, and this is exhilarating. Text B uses a different kind of linguistic device: parallel structure. Text B does this by using the word “lengthening” to describe how Bolt took over the lead and gained distance between him and the pack. This creates a vivid, succinct picture of the race.
AO1:Your understanding of the text is very good with how you immediately gave out what the context is with the beginning of your report, ‘Usain Bolt dominated the field today during the 100m race.’ Then with your characteristic features stating how Bolt was in the race was perfect, giving the audience what they want as you said, ‘ Bolt managed to stay on Thompson's shoulder. With a sort of calm, Bolt lengthened his stride and slowly overtook Thompson. Bolt lengthened his lead, leaving the rest of the runners in the pack.’ which shows an example of your great report. L5 5 marks
ReplyDeleteAO2: Then with your sophisticated expression, it sounded great with how you said, ‘Upon crossing the finish line, the world could tell that Usain Bolt was the new sprinting force to be reckoned with.’ shows a great way of expressing why Bolt won the race. Then with your content being fantastic in describing the race of Bolt in a great way like in what you said, ‘Ten meters from the finish line, Bolt’s excitement was clearly evident; he beat on his chest and pumped his fists in the air with triumph.’ showing an example of how you gave the audience and context in the best way possible. L5 5 marks
AO1: You have a clear understanding of both texts as you were able to compare the similarities and differences of it very well like how you said, ‘Text B is written in third person and past tense, as seen in phrases like “Bolt lengthened his lead” and “Bolt quickly looked over his shoulder.” This is reflective of a report because it is discussing events that the reporter witnessed in the past. It gives an effective overview of the race. Text A uses the first person and fluctuates between present and past tense. Since it is written in the first person, Bolt’s story is very personal and is relatable for the reader.’ as this shows very clearly that you understand both texts and showed one difference between the two. Your characteristic features are very interesting with you using different types of ways to compare like in your start talking about tones, when you said, ‘ Text A is quite informal, as Bolt uses phrases like “talk a lot of trash,” “[c]an I chill,” and “I didn’t freak.” This informal text is quite relatable to the audience (his fans) and this creates a conversational tone. Text B is more formal, as it uses phrases like “clearly evident” and “unfortunate misstep.” This reflects the typical standards of journalistic reporting.’ It shows things that I could improve on such a good job. L5 5 marks
AO3:Then continuing on your comparison, when you said, ‘Text B is written in third person and past tense, as seen in phrases like “Bolt lengthened his lead” and “Bolt quickly looked over his shoulder.” This is reflective of a report because it is discussing events that the reporter witnessed in the past. It gives an effective overview of the race. Text A uses the first person and fluctuates between present and past tense. Since it is written in the first person, Bolt’s story is very personal and is relatable for the reader.’ it shows something that I haven’t seen on anyone's paper which shows me things that I could improve on. Finally, your analysis of the writer’s stylistic choices relate to the audience and it’s meaning is on point with how you said, Both texts appeal to their intended audience. Text A is written so that Bolt’s mindset and thoughts were present, like how he kept telling himself to “[k]eep chilling.” This would be appealing to his fans and runners, as they might want to know what Bolt does in order to be successful during races. Text B appeals to their intended audience because it gives a ‘play-by-play’ of the race. The people reading this article most likely missed the race and want a recap of what happened’ gives an idea of how this is a meaning of the audience and why the writer chose those words. So Great job! L5 10 marks
Hello!
ReplyDeleteOn the Cambridge AO1 scale for question 1(a) I award you 4 marks and on the AO2 scale I award you 4 marks as well for the following reasons. It was clear that you had a very insightful reference to characteristic features of the races main events such as the “misstep” and when Usain “overtook Thompson.” I also thought you did a really good job at understanding the features of the text. However, I had given you a four instead of a five for the one part when you said “the realization began to set in…” This is because in the original text, this realization was part of Usains inner thoughts. There was no way to know this from observing the race so to make your understanding sophisticated i would have made it more clear that this point was only a speculation due to something like a facial expression or like how you said “looked over his shoulder.” It was a good point of evidence but it just wasn't clearly made to be a speculation. You did do this well though when you said “clearly evident” towards another one of his thoughts due to his actions. Just stay consistent with the approach. However using words like “dominated” and “dust” I felt really was a good way of captivating a sports interested audience. These are the factors they are looking for. I felt that the structure of your writing was well thought out regarding the order of points made and I could not find any grammatical errors. I thought you had a nice headline but I think it was a little lengthy. Maybe “Usain brings home the gold” or something along those lines.
On the Cambridge AO1 scale for question 1(b) I award you 5 marks and on the Cambridge AO3 scale for question 1(b) I award you 9 marks for the following reasons. I could see a sophisticated analysis and understanding for both of the text's components. The way you addressed the differences between them both is amazing. You had some points like the “view” of the alternating perspectives which I cannot believe I didn't think about. You did really well in this area. The characteristic features were clear as you indepthly went over the components of both writing as well as your evidence and explanations for each. I would put evidence but you did so many i think this would turn into an essay lol. You tore the text apart looking from every perspective the textbook mentioned and I found it impressive. I also cannot believe I didn't say “text A” and “Text B” like you did in your writing. It made the comparisons much clearer and more organized.
For AO1, I would say you earned a 4. I would give you that score because you go into detail about how Bolt went through the race which shows that you had a clear understanding of the text. It is evident that you understand the text because you start off the report with ‘Usain Bolt dominated the field today during the 100m race.’ There is information from the beginning of the race, the middle and towards the end. The main, important elements from each race are taken and put into short paragraphs. Although it doesn’t go into much detail about the event, there is the basic information that the reader needs to know to understand the passage.
ReplyDeleteFor AO2, I would give you 4 points. There is an effective expression with some minor errors, but they don’t affect the overall message of your newspaper article. There is some really good content throughout your article. For example, when you wrote ‘Ten meters from the finish line, Bolt’s excitement was clearly evident; he beat on his chest and pumped his fists in the air with triumph.’
I would give you 5 marks for AO1. You have a very clear understanding of both texts and are able to compare and contrast the structures, similarities and differences, point of views, intended audience, tones and different linguistic devices. One of the strong points in your writing was when you said ‘However, these two texts take on different tones. Text A is quite informal, as Bolt uses phrases like “talk a lot of trash,” “[c]an I chill,” and “I didn’t freak.”’ You compare and contrast each element in great detail and take apart each aspect of your writing and the extract.
For AO3, I would give you 9 points. Your analysis was very sophisticated and a very clear understanding of both texts. You took apart each different aspect of both writing and went into great depth for each. Every element, no matter if it wasn’t as important as the rest, you still took apart and analyzed each bit. After reading your writing, it made me realize that I need to go into more depth and analyze more aspects of the writing.